Those two little words turn your world upside down.
“And I think I’m going to get an abortion.”
Your heart stops for a minute.
Okay, that makes sense…
Wait, is that what I want? Is that what’s best for her? For us? What types of abortion methods are there and what do we need to know?
It’s her choice, isn’t it? And I’m supposed to support her…
What are you supposed to say or do if she wants an abortion or isn’t sure what to do next?
Don’t wait. Tell her how you feel. Let her know that you will support her and your child if she decides to parent.
Although the decision is ultimately up to her, knowing how you really feel about the pregnancy and being a dad helps her make a fully informed choice. It empowers her and you. Leave all your cards on the table. If you want to continue your relationship together – tell her. If you’re excited (and also a little scared) – tell her. She deserves to hear from you and you deserve to be heard. Remember, she is making a decision that will impact your life too.
Ask questions in a kind and thoughtful way to find out why she’s considering an abortion. Don’t judge her responses or motivations. Listen and be a friend. Often women who have had an abortion share that they felt like it was their only option at the time.
They confide that they don’t think they’ll be supported or have the help they’ll need. They have concerns about school, their job, or how they will make it all work. If she brings up those concerns, let her know she is not alone. Show her your support and try to understand her point of view.
Validate her concerns, then let her know just how strong and capable she is. Remind her that there are supportive people in her corner to help her take all the time she needs to make a fully informed choice.
Before she makes a decision or schedules an abortion, make an appointment for a free consultation with us where you can learn more about the abortion pill, abortion procedures, and your options.
At her appointment, we can also provide a free ultrasound where she can learn how far along she is, whether or not the pregnancy is viable, and learn more about abortion, adoption, and parenting and what comes next.
For you, we’ll provide options consultations with one of our male client advocates. It is a safe space where you can share your thoughts and concerns, ask questions, and learn more about your role. If she decides to continue the pregnancy, we offer one-on-one mentorship for dads and classes for new parents.
Speak up, let your opinion be heard. Remember, your voice matters too.